Home Again – Canada Day

Well, I’m back, grief-weary, taking a slack day with Holly…. DVDs, solitaire,  an impromptu drop-in from friends visiting the village. Almost like a real holiday!

Wendy’s family and friends gave her a lovely send-off: tasteful, casual and friendly. Many, many people filled up the large room. I did not take the time to do a count, but I think there might have been 150 bodies: perhaps more. I applaud the fortitude of those who stood up and shared their memories; myself, I lacked the courage. I would not have been able to maintain my composure.

Through the vapour of my grief and self-pity, I had a chance to make some observations about my many old friendships, some of which had been further cemented by Wendy, if not created outright. I marveled at our fluidity: the uncomfortably long gaps in time melting away in the face of need and duty, both to Wendy’s family and each other. I think most of us also felt the alternating emotions of joy at being together again, and guilty sorrow due to the catalyst. Regardless, my friend Ronnie summed it up best, saying that Wendy’s friends are all really good people. Wendy wouldn’t have put up with or kept company with any other sort.
Things keep bubbling up out of the murk of my brain, like the Christmas eve rounds we used to do to everyone’s homes, being plied at every stop with libations. I’ll blog about these occasionally, but the real life lesson I take from Wendy is simply: Get on with it! So back to press with me.

Some of Wendy’s Gang at Iain & Deb’s Wedding: clockwise from left around the table, Ronnie, David, Brent, Elaine, Dave, DAK (standing), Wendy with great ’80s hair, somebody who looks like a cheesy used car salesman, and Andrea.

running through the graveyard
we laughed my friends and I
we swore we’d be together
until the day we died
until the day we died

It’s such a sad old feeling
the fields are soft and green
it’s memories that I’m stealing
but you’re innocent when you dream
you’re innocent when you dream

(a brief rasp from Tom Waits’ Innocent When You Dream)

[Apologies – the original post of this email got tagged by a google ad bug, so I’m reloading.]

[This comment from Iain: A bittersweet day. I found it carthartic too.]

Explore posts in the same categories: Musings

One Comment on “Home Again – Canada Day”

  1. Deb Says:

    It was so nice to see everyone, and so heartbreaking to not have Wendy there to share it all. Her spirit was with us, though.

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